LOVE & INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS...Are Filipinas most often misconstrued?

ON LOVE & INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS

Love. It has been through time, defined, described and alluded to in so many ways. It has been the subject of many a poet's lines, included in lovers' ethereal dreams and is the ultimate tie that binds human beings. Here, to aptly put it, Love has no boundaries, no race, no culture or religion... OR DOES IT? I often ask that short and straightforward question because we know that it is not true in some cultures. It is a known fact that there are still some races that do not condone exogamy (ie, marrying outside one's social group). Before Generation X (circa 1965-1979), interracial relationships and even interactions were considered taboo. Which somehow reminds me of the Nazi days of Germany, Apartheid era of South Africa and Caste System of India.  The main reason of these so-called "race or group segregation" believers is that there are inferior groups that should not mingle with the "upper class" or "master race" because they might influence, or some term it as "infect" them with inferior beliefs, ways and characteristics (talk about being paranoid).  As I look at it, they are more mindful of the wealth, monetary gain and affluence that they should only share with their own. This is one of the reasons why I am writing about it. Excuse me for the pun but I am really thankful that with the advent of industrialization and advancement in education, the ignorance on multicultural relationships is slowly losing its turf... for some anyway.  Now the question is, are Filipinas spared from this ignorance? Yes I should say so, but not quite.  It is a fact that there is a rise in the number of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) abroad. I do not mind. I am even proud of them because they are very much sought-after due to perseverance, honesty, excellent work ethic and top-of-the line skills (be it white or blue collared jobs).  First world countries often seek Filipino workers. Heck, Filipinos are even excelling in the world of art! Foreigners are now proud that they have Filipina wives in tow but... discrimination still exists. In some texts, a Filipino is defined as a domestic helper (So what? Do you know that they wash your yellowish undergarments in which you do not even dare touch?).  What ires me the most though is the fact that there are still some races who think Filipinos (especially Filipinas) are money-grabbing, wealth guzzling people. Excuse me, gone were the days when Filipinas (or women at that) were left at home to tend to household chores and were not allowed to be educated.  Men and women share the same rights now.  Alot of Filipinas are educated and skilled.  It's sad though that in this era of test-tube babies, robotics extraordinaire, bio genetics-gone-haywire, eco friendliness, biodiversity, social media upsurge and brain drain,  Filipinas are most often misconstrued, even in our own country.  In our country? Why do I say that?  Hello, while foreigners who visit us are proud of their Filipina partners, some shallow-minded people, look at them with raised eyebrows, as if to say... "He must've met her in a girly bar of some sorts". Shut up! You, who are proud to say that you are Filipino, should be ashamed of yourselves. You join the ranks of those ignorant people from abroad who think that Filipinas are out to get their money (when in reality, some of these Filipinas are by far, wealthier than their foreign partners).  You should not be called Filipinos because you have become the people you hate the most... people who degrade Filipinos and consider them second class.  But wait, I have only just begun. I have tackled the hate but I am also here to look at the brighter side of things. Yes, there are educated, intelligent and loving foreigners who think Filipinas are A-class. I salute you guys. You have, in so many ways won my admiration for respecting my beloved sisters. You have not only respected me, in essence, but our moms and the moms of our moms (and so the list goes on)!  Filipinas are loving, respectful of elders and mindful of manners. We are, as others describe us, the epitome of the so-called hearth of the home, light of the family and tip of the rosy-fingered dawn.  We love you for who you are and not for what you have.  If we were only out to get your money, we would not allow ourselves to grow old with you, wash you dirty laundry, feed you burly dogs, mow your bushy lawn, keep up with your tantrums and tend to your needs when you are sick in bed (half-dead from intoxication).  Yes, most are dreaming of a wonderful household, sleek cars, rosy colored or blue-eyed children and an endless supply of cheerios for breakfast but... Filipinas will not let you work alone. In every step of the way, we are willing to give everything we've got like convert to your religion, care for you, manage your household and even boost your existing businesses, all in the name of LOVE.  So you, yes you, who have the utmost respect for Filipinas, have given me the ultimate description of love...that LOVE is without boundaries, without race, without culture or religion. Again, I salute you! :)

JAN and MAYALU

I am not married to a foreigner. Some who know me might think that because my husband looks Arian but he isn't. He is a full-blooded Filipino while my blood line is a mixture of Spanish, Chinese and Filipino, so we are not alien to interracial relationships.  Some of our aunts, cousins and friends are either married to or in relationships with foreigners and we have borne witness to their happy and blissful unions. My best friend, Mayalu, and her beau, Jan, is one of these couples. Mayalu has been my best friend since God-knows-when and I hold her dearly in my heart because it's as if we have known each other forever.  I have been with her through her roughest and toughest of times and have supported her in all her decisions, with a few reprimands here and there from me, when needed (and she, the same).  One incident though that always comes to mind when I think of both of them, was the day she came to my house for a visit. She was more beautiful than the last time I saw her, more vibrant and with a very obvious twinkle in her eye.  It was then that I thought: "my best friend is in love" (sigh) and so with much bravado (as expected), she began telling me about her new relationship with Jan, a foreign Cardiologist, working in Dammam.  Of course, as if on cue, I was gushing and couldn't wait for the story on how they met and finally conquered love.  I was, like she was, ecstatic with the news. You see, Mayalu is a free-spirited and intelligent woman, who loves to travel and experience new things. And for the longest time, she had been planning to go out of the country to practice Anesthesiology in a foreign hospital.  We were both hoping against hope that someday she would, so she began applying for placement as an Anesthesiologist outside the country.  I have met Jan when he went for a visit here in Manila. He looked like what every Cardiologist looks like, clean, intelligent and straightforward.  He was, in every sense of the word, a real gentleman like my husband and was very eager to share his different views on things.  They looked so much in love then and I know that they still are now.  When it was time for Jan to go back to Dammam, Mayalu continued her work here and waited for that one important phone call. Much to her delight, she finally got a call that she was accepted in a hospital in Riyadh. That moment was magical, she felt as if everything had fallen into place.  She had even converted to Islam and I was so proud of her for taking that leap.  Now she is there, happy and hopeful that soon, all her hardships will be rewarded with blessings. Admittedly, life there is not simple. Discrimination is still very obvious not only for women entirely but also for Filipinas. You see, some still think that they are after monetary fulfillment especially when they are engaged or married to the men there. Unbeknownst to them, Filipinas, like my best friend Mayalu, are really capable of true love, and are striving to work hard to show them what true Pinays are made of.  However, much to my consternation, I have heard that some Pinays "allegedly" hook up with foreign men, not because of love but for the money. I hope that somehow, the minority of Filipinas who are being misconstrued would prove them wrong and would uphold their values to forever erase this stigma that is as old as time. I am just thankful though, that Mayalu was accepted by Jan for who and what she is... a lovely woman with a beautiful heart, full of life and verve... willing to conquer all, in the name of love. I miss you so much Mayalu! Keep the faith! :)